Dear world, please help me to understand you.

I feel a little bit weird. One of my best friends told me that she's pregnant. I am the only one that knows it, except her husband. I cried yesterday. I cried because I was really happy for her, but also because I also want it so badly. All my friends are getting forward in their life, but I feel like I'm stucked in time. I don't have anything, the only place where I really gained something, was in Sweden. But I am supposed to make my future here. Honey, you don't know how much I long back to the times we had together in Stockholm. I wish I could do it all again, to feel better for a while.

My parents aren't making it easier. I know they think that they are doing the right things, but they hurt me so much. Their words are sharp as knives. But I don't think they realise it.

Yesterday I had a conversation with my boss at work about my contract. And she really made me feel good. She told me that I was a nice person to work with, and that I have a huge feeling of responsability when it comes to my colleagues. And she told me that they trust me to teach other people and that I was good at it. They were so friendly, it's not of their habbit. And I felt so happy. They gave me a contract for a year, and afterwards they will turn it into a contract in which I can stay there as long as I can. It's good, I really need this work to compensate everything I go through at home.

Honey,
I hope to see you soon

xoxo
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