When it hurts the most

I can not longer pretend like it doesn’t hurt.

My ex wants to meet me, but he is going to be father in a few months...

Ofcourse I told him that I should not see him. But sometimes my heart longs for him. After everything he has done to me, he has still that special place in my heart. It’s probably because he was my first real boyfriend. And my first relationship. I’m trying to stay away from him because it’s going to hurt much more when I see him.

It was always my dream to get children and to get married, and just knowing that he has all this things with the girl with who he cheated on me, hurts like hell.

Anyways. Yesterday was a day like every other day. I did not do anything special. I just went to work, came home, ate something and went to my room.

This night 2011 will start. I hope my dreams will come true, and I hope the new year will be better than last year. Also for you, because I know that it’s not easy to walk through life sometimes. But I hope you go on and never let yourself down. And I am going to do everything to meet you again <3

Looking back on the months gone by,
As a new year starts and an old one ends,
I contemplate what brought me joy,
And I think of my loved ones and my friends.

Recalling all the happy times,
Remembering how they enriched my life,
I reflect upon who really counts,
As the fresh and bright new year arrives.

And when I ponder those who do,
I immediately think of you.

Thanks for being one of the reasons I'll have a Happy New Year!

 xoxo

       EnVansinnigFlicka