This morning when I woke up and looked outside, the whole world was covered underneath a few centimetres of snow. So beautiful. 

I already woke up very early because there is a boy working on our bathroom. There are some problems with the water, I don’t know exactly which problems. So for now I am just waiting until he is gone, so I can finally dress myself and take a shower. And I still need to have breakfast xD I don’t really want this man to see me in my sleeping clothes because he might think there is a zombie walking around xD He might call the ambulance xD

You know, this night I have already been awake for a few hours. I almost got a heart-attack ! My poster of TH (that's hanging above my bed) fell down, right on my head ! I was dreaming about heavy storms and tornado’s so I kind of thought that I was stranded in one of them. Terrible! I was really scared xD

Yesterday I had also a little discussion with my parents ( as usual). I really want to go on a holiday in Sweden, just to remember me of all the beautiful things that I had there. But they don’t let me go. They are afraid that I am going to stay there. They don’t realise how much I am missing that country. They told me that I can travel to all possible countries in Europe, but nowhere around Sweden. It’s sad that they don’t trust me anymore but I guess it’s my own fault and it’s going to be hard to ever fix it. But I don't regret my stay in Sweden. It made me realise what's worth living for and it gave me a taste of what life can be. 
I also have a lot of discusions with them about work. They think I need to look for a fulltime job but I don't know if I can handle that. I mean, I am so scared of being hurt by people again so I put on a mask whenever I go outside. I build walls around me, just to protect me. I know I shouldn't because it makes me very lonely. And I push away people.
It asks a lot of energy to live through each day like this. And I feel depressed a lot, just because I want to be myself but something in me wants to protect my heart from being broken again.

Anyway, I took a few pictures of the snow xD 

xoxo 
       EnVansinnigFlicka 




UPDATE  


I was kind of curious to find out if my dream about the tornado had a meaning, so I looked on the internet and I found this : 

"Tornadoes and cyclones in dreams function primarily as warnings that one's thoughts, way of being, or emotions are spinning out of control."

It's a little bit funny when I look at what I wrote above xD