Have you ever felt bad ? Like you want to stay in bed for the rest of the week and not facing the world outside ?
It's the feeling that I have right now. The world outside looks so dark. Like it's warning me to not to go out. And I don't want to either. But I have to go to work later.
I've been to the doctor yesterday because of the pain in my head and cheeck. And she told me that I have a cyst in my cheeck. When it doesn't go away by itself, then it's going to turn into an operation. My luck. She gave me something so my bleeding noses will probably stop. She also gave me medication against my depressions. It helps me to feel more or less the same each day. So I won't have this rollercoaster of feelings anymore.
I'm also dreaming about living alone. Having an own life and being able to make my own decisions. I have the feeling like my life is still ruled by my parents, even though I'm almost 21. Maybe it's normal because I'm still living home, but on the other side I wish that they let me feel like I'm becoming an adult now. I know they hate it that I work, they always wanted me to study. I am not the daughter they ever wished for. But I am kind of happy with my work. I'm happy to not to go to school because it asked a lot of energy from me. But they don't understand. Or they just won't understand.
Anyways. I have been complaining enough for today !
I will write again soon
xoxo
EnVansinnigFlicka
I really dunno what to say. maybe I became a bit worried about the cyst :S.
ReplyDeleteDarling, try to relax and think clearly.
I am actually happening the same :/ I can´´t stand here longer. But I just have my goal clear and work hard on it <3 C´mon babe I wish u the best ;X