Another day, but the same feeling.

Hello world,

The sun is shining, and it's actually nice outside.

But in my heart it's still raining. I feel so sad. I don't know if I ever will be able to smile again. My parents still don't understand me. It's hopeless to talk with them. I tried to write letters before. But I don't know if they have ever read one of them.
I get so sick of all those argues, all the disputes. Can't they just see that I want to be somebody too ? I'm also trying to find my place on this world, just like everybody else. And yes, I might have more problems with it than the average people. And my heart breaks everytime my parents say hurting things. But they seem to not to care.

They are angry now because I went to sleep so early at Silvester, and because I did not smile or say anything that day. But how can I smile when inside me everything is crying ? How can I pretend to be happy when I'm broken ?  How can I say something when I know that nobody is really listening ?
My parents think I wanted to hurt them with my behaviour, but that's not true. And I can try to explain it to them, but I don't. I know they won't understand.

I spend a lot of time in my room those days. I comfort myself with music and happy memories. Hoping that it all get better one day

xoxo
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