My angel

The night was cold and the rain didn't stop falling down. The wind was playing hide and seek with the stars and the moon.

The city was dark. People were waiting.

An empty crowd was singing songs in front of a building.

Noboby expected a miracle to happen

But I swear that I saw an angel that night.

He was tall, his eyes were brown, and with his smile he lightened up my world. One moment I saw his soul shining through.

He was so close, I could almost touch him.

But there was a wall around him, to keep the world outside.

I saw his halo

I wish I could have set him free

One moment he whispered me a word. Seven letters in a row.

When I looked at him and smiled, something changed within his eyes

It went so fast, he had to leave. I wish I could have said something

He turned around and said goodbye.

leaving me behind, with only a few words

' I see you soon'

　

(And I'm still waiting for him to appear to me again)

　

                                            


xoxo
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Hello everybody !

Yesterday was a good day :) I actually spent the whole day in front of a livestream to watch my idols performing. Afterwards I felt like I could face the whole wide world !

When I saw my idols, memories popped up in my head. Memories about my M&G with them, and what they said to me. It was one word, but I'll never forget it. It won't make sense to any of you, but I put a lot of strenght out of it. And actually it's thanks to them that I went to Sweden somehow and it's thanks to them that I met you...

It must feel like I'm stalking you, or that I'm obsessed with you, just because I write a lot of mails, letters and I even dedicated a blog to you. But our friendship was so intense and so pure, and I never want it to fade away. I know that it's going to be hard to ever meet again since we're both on the other side of the world. But we're going to make it happen somehow. I'm going to turn my whole world upside down if I have to. I never met any person who's so friendly, nice, warm... you have a beautiful soul. Our friendship is very valuable to me, and even despite the distance, it must be possible to keep it going on until forever :)

xoxo
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Dear world, please help me to understand you.

I feel a little bit weird. One of my best friends told me that she's pregnant. I am the only one that knows it, except her husband. I cried yesterday. I cried because I was really happy for her, but also because I also want it so badly. All my friends are getting forward in their life, but I feel like I'm stucked in time. I don't have anything, the only place where I really gained something, was in Sweden. But I am supposed to make my future here. Honey, you don't know how much I long back to the times we had together in Stockholm. I wish I could do it all again, to feel better for a while.

My parents aren't making it easier. I know they think that they are doing the right things, but they hurt me so much. Their words are sharp as knives. But I don't think they realise it.

Yesterday I had a conversation with my boss at work about my contract. And she really made me feel good. She told me that I was a nice person to work with, and that I have a huge feeling of responsability when it comes to my colleagues. And she told me that they trust me to teach other people and that I was good at it. They were so friendly, it's not of their habbit. And I felt so happy. They gave me a contract for a year, and afterwards they will turn it into a contract in which I can stay there as long as I can. It's good, I really need this work to compensate everything I go through at home.

Honey,
I hope to see you soon

xoxo
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Could it be that I have found an angel ?
I can see heaven in your eyes...

Dear world !

What I'm going to tell you now is probably very strange. A year ago I had a date with a boy, and I was totally in love with him after that. I told him but he just laughed and I never heard anything of him anymore. Well, since a few months, there is a boy on my bus that looks just like him ! It could be his twin! Except the tattoo's, everything is the same ! He has piercings at the same place, he wears the same clothes and has the same hair, even the color of his eyes is the same. I don't know anything about this boy, the only thing I know is that he has a girlfriend. Everytime he's on my bus, my stomach starts to behave weird.

But the last period, he's not that often on my bus anymore :( And the last time I saw him was two weeks ago when he was rollerblading down a street. I was on my way to my grandmother and I was actually thinking about him ( the song : say it - eric saade, was playing on my mp3) I had a strange feeling and suddenly I saw him. He didn't see me. And that was good because I must have looked very weird xD

Well, whatever needs to happen will happen, isn't it ?

Today I went to work again, it was only 13 degrees outside ! Such a big difference with yesterday! It was nice at work. At home it was terrible, I came too late because I missed the bus, and my parents started to
make a scene.

Anyways,

Darling,
I love you

xoxo
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How things can change in a blink of an eye...

I was thinking about Sweden again, and how much I miss everything there. In one moment, everything changed. It's how things go. And now there is an ocean between us, and more than thousand miles. I really hope that you're chasing your dreams and never give up the things that you love. I don't know what life is going to bring me, but I hope that you'll be on my path again. You've been an important person in my life, and I still think about everything we did when I feel down. It gives me the strenght to go on again, 'cause you gave me a taste of the beauty of life. And it's worth finding that beauty again

                                        

Today I went to work. It was nice after 4 days off. They appreciate me there, and it's such a nice feeling. It was also very warm today, 30°C! It was nice after having cold weather the last days. I don't really like the warmth but I love to see people walking down the streets with a smile on their face. I smile when it's winter though, but that's a different story xD
I'm not like the others, but I guess you already figured that out ! xD


Darling,
know that I love you
and I still think about you every day

xoxo
EnVansinnigFlicka

Hello dear world.

It was a heavy evening and sometimes I wish I was somebody else. 'Cause I seem to do everything wrong and I make people unhappy. Especially at home. I have a little brother who is 15 years younger than me, and I love playing with him, he has no judgements and he still sees the world as something beautiful to explore. But my mother doesn't like me hanging out with him. I don't understand why 'cause I'm his sister after all! But my mother punishes him whenever he plays with me. It breaks my heart because somehow she makes me feel like I'm not part of this family, like I'm a stranger. I know that my mother wants me to leave the house as soon as possible. She keeps on telling me every day. My little brother came to me today with something he found in the garden and he said : " This is for you. So you won't forget me when you have to live somewhere else from mom'."
I nearly cried.

I look forward to go to work again, because at least they appreciate me there. Oh yes, I went to that meeting, and it was not that bad after all. It was a little bit strange to me because I don't know that much about food etc. So I learned a lot. And a lot of things surprised me. Now I realise that I'm only a part of the chain of people who make sure that the patients get their food. It's kind of fascinating.

anyways,
I think I will go to bed now,

xoxo
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Dear you, Jag vet att min blogg var inte så optimistisk, men jag måste gå vidare, och jag lovade dig att aldrig se tillbaka. Det var svårt de sista dagarna, men jag insåg att jag måste hålla mitt löfte, Det handlar om framtiden nu. Jag måste börja känna mig levande igen, för jag har varit döende inne. Jag önskar jag hade någon här ställa några råd, eftersom jag ibland inte kan se ljuset längre. Men det kommer att bli bättre. Jag lovar.

Åh älskling, du vet inte hur jag längtar efter att åka tillbaka till Sverige med dig. Även om det bara var för en semester. Kanske vi måste köpa ett lite hus där, eller bara en lite husvagn. Ett ställe att gå till när allt blir svårt. Our own little paradise, wouldn't it be great ?

I am kind of worried about the meeting this wendsday. I have to represent my colleagues there but I feel like I will not be able to. I know the most people there, but all the bosses will be there, even the big boss of the hospital. What if I say something wrong ? I'll be the youngest person there ! I don't know if I'm able to take this responsability. But on the other side, my self-confidience will grow, 'cause they believe in me. They trust me, they believe in the fact that I will do a good job there. My doctor also said that I should not be afraid there. She told me that I need this kind of stuff to work on myself. Well, maybe she's right, and maybe it's good for me. But I wish she could take my nerves away.

xoxo
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Älskling, jag önskar du var här, bara ha kul, inte tänka på någonting. Tömning mitt huvud, tömning mina känslor. Det är verkligen vad jag behöver.